Trust is often damaged by infidelity. Couples who choose to stay together after an affair can rebuild their relationship with the help of a marriage counselor.
Shock, agitation, fear, pain, depression, and confusion are normal reactions to infidelity. Rebuilding trust takes time.
It is important to admit wrongdoing and show regret and remorse. It also helps to sever contact with the person involved in the affair.
Honesty
Honesty is speaking the truth and avoiding deception through omission or misdirection. This concept has received attention in philosophy and psychology, and there are many interpretations of what it means to be honest.
People may lie for various reasons, from protecting others to benefiting themselves. Regardless of the motive, however, dishonesty causes a breakdown of trust in relationships.
If someone has been cheated on, they often feel a deep sense of betrayal and loss of trust in their partner. This can lead to a wide range of intense emotions and feelings that are difficult to process. This couples therapy Toronto helps couples work through these feelings and find ways to rebuild trust.
Forgiveness
Forgiveness involves letting go of resentment and anger to restore trust. While this may not happen immediately, it’s important to realize that forgiveness is a process, not an event.
Experts who study and teach forgiveness define it as a deliberate decision to release the resentment of an offense or harm done by someone else. It does not mean condoning, excusing, or forgetting the offending act. It doesn’t obligate you to reconcile with the person who harmed you or free them from legal responsibility.
Forgiveness allows you to give the great gifts of acceptance, generosity, and love even to those who do not deserve them. Harboring anger and resentment can have a negative impact on your health, stifling creativity and problem-solving. Forgiving others can also improve your well-being by reducing unhealthy stress hormones and encouraging emotional healing. In addition, forgiving can promote intergenerational and societal improvement. Having an impartial listener in couples therapy can help you uncover your emotions around forgiveness.
Reconciliation
Reconciliation is the process of repairing and rebuilding trust following an affair. This involves the betrayed partner receiving honest and transparent communication from their spouse, including an apology that demonstrates remorse and understanding for the hurt felt by the betrayed partner.
Couples must be given time to work through their emotions. Often, the betrayed spouse fits the criteria for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), and pushing them to forgive and reconcile too quickly can increase these symptoms, resulting in difficulty functioning.
Both partners must be willing to do the required hard work, including learning to communicate effectively and respectfully. A therapist can help guide the couple through a safe and supportive environment that allows for healthy conflict resolution techniques, enabling them to build a stronger and more authentic bond. It is also important that the betrayed partner understands that they do not need to know all the details about why their spouse cheated, just enough to see honesty and openness in their relationship moving forward.
Healing
Healing is a long process that involves commitment, honesty, forgiveness, and reconciliation. It’s important to find a therapist, similar to those at the Moving Forward Counselling Service, to help you improve communication and build a trusting relationship. This is especially crucial if the affair involves co-workers. It’s also essential to agree to sever all contact with the former lover. This means no dinner dates, quick coffee meetings, or private conversations. Keeping it all a secret isn’t fair to the betrayed spouse.
It’s not easy to rebuild trust after infidelity. But it’s possible if both partners are willing to do the work. Be patient, and remember your goal is to heal the pain caused by the betrayal. Revenge will only keep the hurt alive and may worsen it in the long run. Forgiveness is a good place to start. But it’s not something that can be forced; it must come from the heart. Then it can truly resonate and be accepted.
